A song
A violet bangle
ink
A call
A voice
love.. accidentally?
crimson
long brown fringes
wild blackberries
Thoughts and images cram my head. A head furnished wid mundanities of life, trying to make some of them stand out. Leaving an impact.An impression. What would blackberries mean to me if id never seen them before, knew nothing about them?Would i still feel inclined towards tasting them? will i be afraid? would i want to get into something that holds unknown possibilities , would i put everything at stake for it...should i ? i can lose everythin..or i can gain . EVERYTHING. And whats the point acting safe, taking too many precautions in life anyway? Even if i lose, i shant malign myself as a coward. My self respect shall be retained.untainted. I wont lose my resilience. So in retrospect everything will not be lost. But to gain , there's everything.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Another World. Soon.
First things first. check out my Poky. Na na, ull havta scroll down. yea. Isnt she cute???
You see, my Poky is my inspiration as i write this . Umm.. the Greek muses wont be too happy eh? Why is Poky my inspiration now? See she just is, ok? just coz she's a pig doesn't mean she cannot be! uff, some presumptuous wits! some wits!hmmmm...btw, right now am listening to Maula mere. Me thinks m tiring of this song, but its melody just keeps me ..err..hooked. Manj says the song is being 'Inflicted' on her ( yea Puja, i can see you screwing yer nose too..). But m sure some people like this song eh? Some there must be. Oh my soul says there must be!! And then there is Overkill by Colin Hays and Voice by Pentagram. hooked . uhh.. wait.. hear 'Voice' if you haven't already. really.
So. Exam happened today. Everything between 9am and noon is a blurr. Guilty? well hell No! Not at all. Its funny how life seems different after you've got an iron load off your chest. Iron load, read Milton , Webster and other similar Homo Sapiens who were brilliant no doubt.. but their brilliance is quite lost on me..us .. wrong time pals. Your texts don't belong. I like Satan of course. But writing about him is a different thing altogether. Mkd said they had a creative writing paper in their days. Now what i don't understand is, why do they scrap all interesting things from the syllabus? Who says Milton is better than creating your own stuff. you know, like being your own Milton. Hehe, sounded quirky i know.
So, yea life. hmm. You know about it seeming different and all, its just overwhelming really. I mean i was smiling at SP. see?. For the uninitiated, SP is a virulent virago who also happens to teach. us. And then there was the bus conductor who was trying to be one chip of a smartass, pretending he had no change. But i just did not get annoyed. i just did not. Kanika, girl, you are becoming quite patient and all. good good.
So even though there's one shandy paper left still, Exams are almost over. Over is a beautiful word. Over is a new world in itself. Over is a beautiful person. Over, i shall meet you in four days. You just see. haa!
You see, my Poky is my inspiration as i write this . Umm.. the Greek muses wont be too happy eh? Why is Poky my inspiration now? See she just is, ok? just coz she's a pig doesn't mean she cannot be! uff, some presumptuous wits! some wits!hmmmm...btw, right now am listening to Maula mere. Me thinks m tiring of this song, but its melody just keeps me ..err..hooked. Manj says the song is being 'Inflicted' on her ( yea Puja, i can see you screwing yer nose too..). But m sure some people like this song eh? Some there must be. Oh my soul says there must be!! And then there is Overkill by Colin Hays and Voice by Pentagram. hooked . uhh.. wait.. hear 'Voice' if you haven't already. really.
So. Exam happened today. Everything between 9am and noon is a blurr. Guilty? well hell No! Not at all. Its funny how life seems different after you've got an iron load off your chest. Iron load, read Milton , Webster and other similar Homo Sapiens who were brilliant no doubt.. but their brilliance is quite lost on me..us .. wrong time pals. Your texts don't belong. I like Satan of course. But writing about him is a different thing altogether. Mkd said they had a creative writing paper in their days. Now what i don't understand is, why do they scrap all interesting things from the syllabus? Who says Milton is better than creating your own stuff. you know, like being your own Milton. Hehe, sounded quirky i know.
So, yea life. hmm. You know about it seeming different and all, its just overwhelming really. I mean i was smiling at SP. see?. For the uninitiated, SP is a virulent virago who also happens to teach. us. And then there was the bus conductor who was trying to be one chip of a smartass, pretending he had no change. But i just did not get annoyed. i just did not. Kanika, girl, you are becoming quite patient and all. good good.
So even though there's one shandy paper left still, Exams are almost over. Over is a beautiful word. Over is a new world in itself. Over is a beautiful person. Over, i shall meet you in four days. You just see. haa!
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Friday, March 30, 2007
what matters really
what really matters in life are things ,dominantly considered as inane,needless,trivial,insignificant and immaterial in the so called 'real world'.'the real world' is an often misused,abused and reused word in d vocabulary of unerring parents.
'parents' constitute an integral part of existence,especially for those who live with them. Time , since after the 7 days of creation, has borne testimony to the fact that things often considered useless by parents acquire an uncanny importance in the life of children.in the life of 'us'.
moving away from conjectures, a few examples shall fruitfully elucidate my implications.
1) ordering honey chicken on phone. recieving chilli chicken . turns out the specificity of the 'type' got lost in translation.lost in translation when word was passed to mom, from mom to dad and from dad to the fast food guy at d other end of the phone. your protests are supressed with a '' what the hell does it matter really..'' . pfffbttt!
2)listening to Keane and floyd during breakfast.its a prescriptive must for me. supplies me with 'extra nutrients'. soft headbanging and various other types of twists and nods are met with amused glares. mom speaks more when my headphones are jammed in my ears.she confessed it is done deliberately.
3) extremely bitter coffee. cannot consume coffee in any other way. when self service can be avoided, mom volunteers. coffee with extra dollops of sugar is handed over to me.till then its fine. the cup is lifted subtely and i tilt the contents absentmindedly into my mouth. shock. splutter. disgust. An absolute refusal to continue.Mom shoots back. ''its coffee all d same, have it or leave it,u r NOT gettin another cup..'' .compelled by a lethargic existence, and a morning that just began..i consume.
4) a new handset. my nokia 2600 has started supplying me with an ancient aura. it is used meekly and slyly with blackberries,N92s, motorazors thronging the world around me.i feel old.very old.parents fail to empathize. they dont see the point on my shamestruck face after misplacing a v3i. they dont c how ''accidents can just happen''. sigh.
'parents' constitute an integral part of existence,especially for those who live with them. Time , since after the 7 days of creation, has borne testimony to the fact that things often considered useless by parents acquire an uncanny importance in the life of children.in the life of 'us'.
moving away from conjectures, a few examples shall fruitfully elucidate my implications.
1) ordering honey chicken on phone. recieving chilli chicken . turns out the specificity of the 'type' got lost in translation.lost in translation when word was passed to mom, from mom to dad and from dad to the fast food guy at d other end of the phone. your protests are supressed with a '' what the hell does it matter really..'' . pfffbttt!
2)listening to Keane and floyd during breakfast.its a prescriptive must for me. supplies me with 'extra nutrients'. soft headbanging and various other types of twists and nods are met with amused glares. mom speaks more when my headphones are jammed in my ears.she confessed it is done deliberately.
3) extremely bitter coffee. cannot consume coffee in any other way. when self service can be avoided, mom volunteers. coffee with extra dollops of sugar is handed over to me.till then its fine. the cup is lifted subtely and i tilt the contents absentmindedly into my mouth. shock. splutter. disgust. An absolute refusal to continue.Mom shoots back. ''its coffee all d same, have it or leave it,u r NOT gettin another cup..'' .compelled by a lethargic existence, and a morning that just began..i consume.
4) a new handset. my nokia 2600 has started supplying me with an ancient aura. it is used meekly and slyly with blackberries,N92s, motorazors thronging the world around me.i feel old.very old.parents fail to empathize. they dont see the point on my shamestruck face after misplacing a v3i. they dont c how ''accidents can just happen''. sigh.
Monday, March 19, 2007
GO ON ..READ
If you come to think about it, most people regard all girls institutions with disdain...specially girls who aint part of it already or are at the brink of joining 'em.. you know how the common argument runs..''girls are majorly bitchy and have these stupid wiles about them..blah blah...''
dipshit i say..n well u better take it from me cos i belong to an all girls' ..hehe
ill admit on my first day of college..i was a bunch of nerves man..biting nails and all that(on a symbolic level)..in my entire life ive held a record for never likin girls too much n well, never being liked by them either .. so well..err..u can imagine how it mustve felt to be flung into a mass of x chromosome.. BUT a few days into this place n i discovered i was havin an awesome time man...like fun at its funnest !!
lets c wat all helped:
1) man u can wear whatever you want.no compunctions, no awkward moments wid guys gaping with their mouths half open...and what relief to b clad in shorts during the scorchy humid summer days... not to forget hopping about n jumping and gettin soaked in rain , enjoying every bit of it...running around, slapping each other hard on the back,doing awkward stunts in middle of the college without caring two hoots.. !
2)lets face it, a lotta girls havta repress what they really wanna be when guys are around lest they be..err..labelled. BUT THIS JUST DOES NOT HAPPEN HERE!!!
3)girl girl bonding.also known as homosocial bonding.often mistaken with homosexual bonding. So well you discover the line between the two and can spend the rest of your lives on that line havin a ball...of course u can spill into either side if you want ... believe it or not(its almost like m sayin this to myself),i can now claim girls to be my best friends!! :) ( at d cost of soundin corny)
now for the specificities of some interesting individuals i met here-
1) man jhadi- also known as manjari.no specific reason why ive slotted you here. just that each day begins with her all encompassing laughter which i suspect echoes till hudson lines .. it originates, methinks ,from the bottom of the dark mysterious pit of her stomach and emanates forth with a vigour that is unsurpassed. here's to u manj !!!!!!;) LUBB YOU
2)kanupriya- her life is defined by osho's discourses n specifically the ones on sex. 'very liberating' she says.yeah well they are indeed quite,shall i say, 'enlightening'?hehe
3)naina- she is the versatilest thing ive ever come across. A part of her versatile knowledge includes knowing what the nescafe guy does behind closed doors and she loves scandalizing 'some' ppl by tellin em. Naina,temme,hows it that only u know what he does behind those doors??me thinks she cooks most of it...but then its high on entertainment value, so who cares?!
4) puja- she is 'the ladies man' , 'the sport' and 'The Rake'..she flirts well and she scares well . she scares with her karate antics. She breaks a rib or two and she laughs her triumphant laughter.if not doing this, she can be usually found loitering languidly anywhere in college,seizing harmless twits and bullying around. food is her fuel.food is all that matters anyway.
5)srimoyi- unquestionably THE quintessential intellectual.we bet she'll land up in oxford or harvard and give our lecturers somethin to think about!she almost always unfailingly makes yer intellect seem puny!! way to go Sree!!
n i can go on n on...but u get the idea right... its never ending fun to be here...to let yourself free and jus well freak out n freak d hell outta those beyond the college walls.. ;) ;)
now i think i should go n give my notes a chance to be read and act as the beacon of light for those who lay in ignorance till now.Fond reflections such as these are often a result of an existence warped by approaching exams.''Examinations fuck one.Examinations fuck all.no one dies a virgin... '' saying thus god kicked us into infernal hell ...
dipshit i say..n well u better take it from me cos i belong to an all girls' ..hehe
ill admit on my first day of college..i was a bunch of nerves man..biting nails and all that(on a symbolic level)..in my entire life ive held a record for never likin girls too much n well, never being liked by them either .. so well..err..u can imagine how it mustve felt to be flung into a mass of x chromosome.. BUT a few days into this place n i discovered i was havin an awesome time man...like fun at its funnest !!
lets c wat all helped:
1) man u can wear whatever you want.no compunctions, no awkward moments wid guys gaping with their mouths half open...and what relief to b clad in shorts during the scorchy humid summer days... not to forget hopping about n jumping and gettin soaked in rain , enjoying every bit of it...running around, slapping each other hard on the back,doing awkward stunts in middle of the college without caring two hoots.. !
2)lets face it, a lotta girls havta repress what they really wanna be when guys are around lest they be..err..labelled. BUT THIS JUST DOES NOT HAPPEN HERE!!!
3)girl girl bonding.also known as homosocial bonding.often mistaken with homosexual bonding. So well you discover the line between the two and can spend the rest of your lives on that line havin a ball...of course u can spill into either side if you want ... believe it or not(its almost like m sayin this to myself),i can now claim girls to be my best friends!! :) ( at d cost of soundin corny)
now for the specificities of some interesting individuals i met here-
1) man jhadi- also known as manjari.no specific reason why ive slotted you here. just that each day begins with her all encompassing laughter which i suspect echoes till hudson lines .. it originates, methinks ,from the bottom of the dark mysterious pit of her stomach and emanates forth with a vigour that is unsurpassed. here's to u manj !!!!!!;) LUBB YOU
2)kanupriya- her life is defined by osho's discourses n specifically the ones on sex. 'very liberating' she says.yeah well they are indeed quite,shall i say, 'enlightening'?hehe
3)naina- she is the versatilest thing ive ever come across. A part of her versatile knowledge includes knowing what the nescafe guy does behind closed doors and she loves scandalizing 'some' ppl by tellin em. Naina,temme,hows it that only u know what he does behind those doors??me thinks she cooks most of it...but then its high on entertainment value, so who cares?!
4) puja- she is 'the ladies man' , 'the sport' and 'The Rake'..she flirts well and she scares well . she scares with her karate antics. She breaks a rib or two and she laughs her triumphant laughter.if not doing this, she can be usually found loitering languidly anywhere in college,seizing harmless twits and bullying around. food is her fuel.food is all that matters anyway.
5)srimoyi- unquestionably THE quintessential intellectual.we bet she'll land up in oxford or harvard and give our lecturers somethin to think about!she almost always unfailingly makes yer intellect seem puny!! way to go Sree!!
n i can go on n on...but u get the idea right... its never ending fun to be here...to let yourself free and jus well freak out n freak d hell outta those beyond the college walls.. ;) ;)
now i think i should go n give my notes a chance to be read and act as the beacon of light for those who lay in ignorance till now.Fond reflections such as these are often a result of an existence warped by approaching exams.''Examinations fuck one.Examinations fuck all.no one dies a virgin... '' saying thus god kicked us into infernal hell ...
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
somewhere out there..
somewhere out there
among the shacks and relics of a broken existence
he stares outside the window
upon a world free..up he looks
swaying on sky high swings
he jumps and flies
his arms spread wide
he sits back on his arm chair and sighs
the guitar strings broken
a drumset torn and dusty
lying among the ruins of a long forgotten existence
amidst the waste furnished by his past
the memory of his first love flashed across his mind
in her skin tight jeans
and a loose sweater
sittin with him, swayin to dope infested reggae beats
The others languidly spread over the grass
flouting reality
reigning
reigning
they reigned
they, her ,him
they laughed
and they sang
beat their thoughts into their songs
engraved their lives into their songs
ram,vish, kay,our jay
now its him ,just him
they all went
disappeared
like ephemeral memories
leaving behind a bitter aftertaste
of their existence gone too soon
a hammock
a new guitar
his grey hair
his floral shirt
a new beginning
this time over
the stars listen
among the shacks and relics of a broken existence
he stares outside the window
upon a world free..up he looks
swaying on sky high swings
he jumps and flies
his arms spread wide
he sits back on his arm chair and sighs
the guitar strings broken
a drumset torn and dusty
lying among the ruins of a long forgotten existence
amidst the waste furnished by his past
the memory of his first love flashed across his mind
in her skin tight jeans
and a loose sweater
sittin with him, swayin to dope infested reggae beats
The others languidly spread over the grass
flouting reality
reigning
reigning
they reigned
they, her ,him
they laughed
and they sang
beat their thoughts into their songs
engraved their lives into their songs
ram,vish, kay,our jay
now its him ,just him
they all went
disappeared
like ephemeral memories
leaving behind a bitter aftertaste
of their existence gone too soon
a hammock
a new guitar
his grey hair
his floral shirt
a new beginning
this time over
the stars listen
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
un-think
lurking behind the receptacles of memory..are the lesser memories forgotten compeletely...or memories that got undone..unmemoried..
do we forget things ..or can we forget things at all?
conversly..
is it possible to freeze beautiful moments as they are??
forever?n not let the strings of time distort them?
cos my history,
my present,
is a bundle of entangled memories
some that i want to strangle without mirth
some that i want to integrate into my everyday existence
some that have dissolved into nothingness..
and yet..
memories...do have a life of their own..but that life is..passive.. they may fade with time..n even if they dont ..
their significance does ..
i dont want these moments -
these specific ones -
to be framed in the relegates of my mind
as memories
that will hang
and float
but wont breathe into my face
i want these moments
to live
an eternal life
not frozen
but retained in their livingness
their vitality
your hand as real as ever on my cheek
the volatile touch
waitin for me to seek refuge in it whenever they snap at me
the world is now divided.
theres 'them'
and there's 'you'
do we forget things ..or can we forget things at all?
conversly..
is it possible to freeze beautiful moments as they are??
forever?n not let the strings of time distort them?
cos my history,
my present,
is a bundle of entangled memories
some that i want to strangle without mirth
some that i want to integrate into my everyday existence
some that have dissolved into nothingness..
and yet..
memories...do have a life of their own..but that life is..passive.. they may fade with time..n even if they dont ..
their significance does ..
i dont want these moments -
these specific ones -
to be framed in the relegates of my mind
as memories
that will hang
and float
but wont breathe into my face
i want these moments
to live
an eternal life
not frozen
but retained in their livingness
their vitality
your hand as real as ever on my cheek
the volatile touch
waitin for me to seek refuge in it whenever they snap at me
the world is now divided.
theres 'them'
and there's 'you'
Sunday, February 04, 2007
muzik
How will it feel to just fly away...soar high...very high... and never come back..out of reach for the endless bounds of earthly existence...no obligations..responsibilities..dependence...
to feel yourself kissing the ephemeral clouds...wrapping themselves around your body like white curtains..
oh divine abandon! feeling yourself expand...like a turbulent volacano...blessed with the prowess to do anything...rising above god?or is that heresy? for once though..letme over reach...lemme be icarus whose wings could not be melted by the fiercest sun....lemme swallow the seven oceans and yet not be full...
gimme fire...yeah...turbulence...tornadoes....thunderous grey....scorching red...
lemme dance ...dance and unite myself with everything around...birds and dolphins alike...feeling the urgency of a storm in my veins..
just feeling and moving..
to feel yourself kissing the ephemeral clouds...wrapping themselves around your body like white curtains..
oh divine abandon! feeling yourself expand...like a turbulent volacano...blessed with the prowess to do anything...rising above god?or is that heresy? for once though..letme over reach...lemme be icarus whose wings could not be melted by the fiercest sun....lemme swallow the seven oceans and yet not be full...
gimme fire...yeah...turbulence...tornadoes....thunderous grey....scorching red...
lemme dance ...dance and unite myself with everything around...birds and dolphins alike...feeling the urgency of a storm in my veins..
just feeling and moving..
Friday, January 26, 2007
fuk d world
sometimes....no matter how much u try to make things work in your life......there'll always b some assholes who screw everythin up n behave like..well ..assholes.................. n d fkin thing is..they manage to effect ya..make u cry at times..... n u want to kick them hard...hurt them real bad! and they still behave like lumps of inanimate meat!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
of apple pies and chocolate tarts..
sometimes ,when seized by a personal calamity,something you percieve to have altered your existence overnight, you shut all sunlight out...because its difficult to confront a new sense of reality.its like you've been addicted to apple pies for a while but they got over soon and you, despite of having the option of tasting an endless variety of different pies ,would want your apple pie ,''and nothing else..period!''.you wont stop sulking till your demand is met with,and THAT just does not happen...
finally , tired , very consciously you lift a chocolate tart lying right in front of you, and without thinking much, bite..and oh!..does it taste awesome or DOES IT TASTE AWESOME!!....
all it takes is wanting to take a risk... knowing that your apple pie aint even worth the time spent missing it....and in hindsight it appears lame , its loss- a blessing in disguise..a means infact by which not only does your life become better but u learn that you got addicted to it,not because of what it was,but what you made it out to be, that you projected on it pleasures that can be availed of thrice fold from elsewhere... and all the while you thought it aint possible!!
in the end,the apple pie remains exactly what it ever was and ever will be,an apple pie.....
imagine dousing your choco tart with thick chocolate syrup(m a chocoholic of the supremest order) and teething into the gooey mush...oooooohhh..(wont trade any goddam thing fer this feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)..having your mouth aesthtically smudged with chocolatey ecstasy and closing your eyes...
finally , tired , very consciously you lift a chocolate tart lying right in front of you, and without thinking much, bite..and oh!..does it taste awesome or DOES IT TASTE AWESOME!!....
all it takes is wanting to take a risk... knowing that your apple pie aint even worth the time spent missing it....and in hindsight it appears lame , its loss- a blessing in disguise..a means infact by which not only does your life become better but u learn that you got addicted to it,not because of what it was,but what you made it out to be, that you projected on it pleasures that can be availed of thrice fold from elsewhere... and all the while you thought it aint possible!!
in the end,the apple pie remains exactly what it ever was and ever will be,an apple pie.....
imagine dousing your choco tart with thick chocolate syrup(m a chocoholic of the supremest order) and teething into the gooey mush...oooooohhh..(wont trade any goddam thing fer this feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)..having your mouth aesthtically smudged with chocolatey ecstasy and closing your eyes...
this guys, is LIFE!!
incase you thought this one's an ode to the french who introduced these delights to r lives....well..i m seriously contemplating on writing a post to serve that very purpose, but this one ,ladies and chentlemen , is about life,my life .. and discovering my choco tart :)
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
psstt..
Am a dreamer
when i wake
my spirit stays
its my dreams you take
I see u holding my hand
and i wonder
will d sun shine so bright
if it were not for you
Ive broken down
each time a dream turned fake
to c myself not crying alone
its your shoulders dat kept me awake
each time,each time i tried to find,
i tried to seek
what was so readily available
waiting fer me to seize it
as i stand confused
with dilemma infused
worn out and cynical
you look at me
to your eyes i turn
to find my world
a world i tried to build elsewhere
i hear;
"welcome home"
when i wake
my spirit stays
its my dreams you take
I see u holding my hand
and i wonder
will d sun shine so bright
if it were not for you
Ive broken down
each time a dream turned fake
to c myself not crying alone
its your shoulders dat kept me awake
each time,each time i tried to find,
i tried to seek
what was so readily available
waiting fer me to seize it
as i stand confused
with dilemma infused
worn out and cynical
you look at me
to your eyes i turn
to find my world
a world i tried to build elsewhere
i hear;
"welcome home"
Monday, January 01, 2007
As i sit in the dark room
with a candle in front of me
my eyes illumined
i look at you
apprehension darkens your face
a drop of sweat trickles down
youve never seen anyone like me before
your muscles tighten in speculation
the walls start revolving
slow at first
and then fast
so fast that your head starts aching
everything seems hazy
except my face
transfixed,
my eyes pierce into yours
painfully penetrate
and then your eyes notice
a halo diffused around my head
my eyes soften
a smile spreads across my face
i get up
and walk slowly across the room
to you
i position myself
right in front of you;
you look up
perplexed,
take my hand
and pull me down
you look into my face
i look ethereal to you
but no
m less than human
you cant see that as yet
and then
i put my trust in you
like a baby
surrender compeletely
wholly
you stand up
and try to pull me along
i get up
but...
no,i couldnt stand with you
my autonomy existed only in my difference
from you
so i ran
ran away
out of this room
leaving those walls behind
ran
ran for my life
far away
with a candle in front of me
my eyes illumined
i look at you
apprehension darkens your face
a drop of sweat trickles down
youve never seen anyone like me before
your muscles tighten in speculation
the walls start revolving
slow at first
and then fast
so fast that your head starts aching
everything seems hazy
except my face
transfixed,
my eyes pierce into yours
painfully penetrate
and then your eyes notice
a halo diffused around my head
my eyes soften
a smile spreads across my face
i get up
and walk slowly across the room
to you
i position myself
right in front of you;
you look up
perplexed,
take my hand
and pull me down
you look into my face
i look ethereal to you
but no
m less than human
you cant see that as yet
and then
i put my trust in you
like a baby
surrender compeletely
wholly
you stand up
and try to pull me along
i get up
but...
no,i couldnt stand with you
my autonomy existed only in my difference
from you
so i ran
ran away
out of this room
leaving those walls behind
ran
ran for my life
far away
Sunday, December 31, 2006
she sat alone on the sand
looking onwards,feet set astride
gentle waves lapped up her feet
strong feet they were,set firmly on the ground
a bottle of wine clutched in one hand
her friends cried out her name,
dancing at a distance
she looked back
pondered for a minute
decided to stay
for some minutes more..
the sun looked worn out
it rusted the sky
and began sinking into the sea..
reflections swayed in her mind
evoking desires
prodding her to dream on
dreams concealing past joys
moments frozen and safely kept
a smile flickered on her lips
her eyes distant
memories embroiled in sweet syrup
she dropped it
it fell with a 'thudd'
its beauty best remained in itself
not to be dragged into 'now'
'now' looked way too promising
and the future, exciting
her blood stirred..
will she forget him?
n let go of him?
NO.
more than a reciever of her affections
he remained a friend
a precious companion
but no more was he her 'whole'
he had stirred the most profound emotions in her
emotions she cringed to feel
love has not left her
it lingers
waiting eagerly to be endowed yet again
fully,selflessly
cannonizing the two involved
be it,momentary
the waves cleansed her regrets
her melancholia
a perfumed present
corroded her essence
like a sweet enemy
soothing yet teasing..
someone sang out loud
''che sera sera...''
she giggled
sprang up
and ran
her friends were waitin fer her..
N IT ALL FELT SOO FAMILIAR..
looking onwards,feet set astride
gentle waves lapped up her feet
strong feet they were,set firmly on the ground
a bottle of wine clutched in one hand
her friends cried out her name,
dancing at a distance
she looked back
pondered for a minute
decided to stay
for some minutes more..
the sun looked worn out
it rusted the sky
and began sinking into the sea..
reflections swayed in her mind
evoking desires
prodding her to dream on
dreams concealing past joys
moments frozen and safely kept
a smile flickered on her lips
her eyes distant
memories embroiled in sweet syrup
she dropped it
it fell with a 'thudd'
its beauty best remained in itself
not to be dragged into 'now'
'now' looked way too promising
and the future, exciting
her blood stirred..
will she forget him?
n let go of him?
NO.
more than a reciever of her affections
he remained a friend
a precious companion
but no more was he her 'whole'
he had stirred the most profound emotions in her
emotions she cringed to feel
love has not left her
it lingers
waiting eagerly to be endowed yet again
fully,selflessly
cannonizing the two involved
be it,momentary
the waves cleansed her regrets
her melancholia
a perfumed present
corroded her essence
like a sweet enemy
soothing yet teasing..
someone sang out loud
''che sera sera...''
she giggled
sprang up
and ran
her friends were waitin fer her..
N IT ALL FELT SOO FAMILIAR..
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
forbidden fruit
Hungry ,
i eyed a crisp,red apple
delicious it looked
i bit into it
addictive,couldnt stop eatin
went on n on n on
till
a limp,bitter core was left starin at me
the apple was no more.
i eyed a crisp,red apple
delicious it looked
i bit into it
addictive,couldnt stop eatin
went on n on n on
till
a limp,bitter core was left starin at me
the apple was no more.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
invocation to d soul
where's the sun,can u find it for me? but whats the use,i am blind
i am thirsty, can u bring me water?but whats d use,i am a corpse
i am famished,can i have some food?but whats the use,they cut my tongue
can i smell wet earth please?will you make it rain? rain and make the sea swell further.
have you touched my skin?hasnt it become cold? and my voice ,has it not become empty?my gait tired ? trying desperately to catch a glimpse of me...me.... pleading to my soul for freedom...nirvana... snatching me away from d bottomless darkness,to fling me into blinding white, injecting vitality into my veins...
my eyes....where's the fire,that used to dance freely.....is it in there somewhere, momentarily dormant?waiting to rage out .... to swallow everything in it.....fusing with ice... icy fire?
i am thirsty, can u bring me water?but whats d use,i am a corpse
i am famished,can i have some food?but whats the use,they cut my tongue
can i smell wet earth please?will you make it rain? rain and make the sea swell further.
have you touched my skin?hasnt it become cold? and my voice ,has it not become empty?my gait tired ? trying desperately to catch a glimpse of me...me.... pleading to my soul for freedom...nirvana... snatching me away from d bottomless darkness,to fling me into blinding white, injecting vitality into my veins...
my eyes....where's the fire,that used to dance freely.....is it in there somewhere, momentarily dormant?waiting to rage out .... to swallow everything in it.....fusing with ice... icy fire?
Sunday, December 17, 2006
rising
The phoenix slumbered beneath the ashes
snoring phlegmatically
floating in a beautiful dream
a dream she took to be real
the ashes got too hot
she felt suffocated;
awakened,
shot its mighty neck through the black poison
to face the sun
looked it in the eye
the sun blinked,intimidated
she shook the powdery flakes from its majestic wings
the sleep had rusted her gigantic spirit
softened her will
balmed and gooed the heart
it was an unnatural state
in which she held on tightly to the dream
the dream which had drugged her senses
now she took hold of the dream,kissed it tenderly
caressed it
it had given her moments of new found revelation
a mystic happiness
that engulfed even d pain
pain cocooned in a mellow beauty..
and then
she let go of it
the dream looked back at her
smiled and took flight
she had freed it
but in the process
freed herself
sighing happily
she spread out her wings
and flew
the air around her shudderring
her laughter echoed far beyond
sailing through cottony clouds
and then stars came out in the morning,
shaken from their uneventful sleep
to greet her
Astrophil was waiting for her
she saw him
they embraced
Diana looked from behind the sleeping moon
blessing them
Astrophil, the phoenix's self
who had been left behind
in her persuit of the dream
snoring phlegmatically
floating in a beautiful dream
a dream she took to be real
the ashes got too hot
she felt suffocated;
awakened,
shot its mighty neck through the black poison
to face the sun
looked it in the eye
the sun blinked,intimidated
she shook the powdery flakes from its majestic wings
the sleep had rusted her gigantic spirit
softened her will
balmed and gooed the heart
it was an unnatural state
in which she held on tightly to the dream
the dream which had drugged her senses
now she took hold of the dream,kissed it tenderly
caressed it
it had given her moments of new found revelation
a mystic happiness
that engulfed even d pain
pain cocooned in a mellow beauty..
and then
she let go of it
the dream looked back at her
smiled and took flight
she had freed it
but in the process
freed herself
sighing happily
she spread out her wings
and flew
the air around her shudderring
her laughter echoed far beyond
sailing through cottony clouds
and then stars came out in the morning,
shaken from their uneventful sleep
to greet her
Astrophil was waiting for her
she saw him
they embraced
Diana looked from behind the sleeping moon
blessing them
Astrophil, the phoenix's self
who had been left behind
in her persuit of the dream
Sunday, December 03, 2006
blues
scene1:
he pulled up his tri cycle next to her
she was carrying a basket of plums in her dimpled hands
d breeze pushin strands of silken baby hair across her face
n he produces a flower in fronta her
baby pink ,like her frock
-break-
("...others were not meant to play wid ur heart baby,
step over your feelings , or
trample over u wid their unthoughtfulness.
it will hurt to hear this.
but till how long will you immerse yourself in stories...lies...to comfort yourself .....")
scene3:
... their bodies enveloped in sweet baby sweat
their faces red and glowing
they stopped
planted themselves on a soft patch on the grass
and lay there
the girl put her head on his lap
n he pulled her up
caressing her..
.
he pulled up his tri cycle next to her
she was carrying a basket of plums in her dimpled hands
d breeze pushin strands of silken baby hair across her face
n he produces a flower in fronta her
baby pink ,like her frock
-break-
("...others were not meant to play wid ur heart baby,
step over your feelings , or
trample over u wid their unthoughtfulness.
it will hurt to hear this.
but till how long will you immerse yourself in stories...lies...to comfort yourself .....")
scene2:
the two scramble down a pebbled road
along a slope
flanked with luscious fields along both sides
brimming with honeysuckles n tulips
hand in hand
they ran
screaming with laughter
their voices echoin
-break-
("..tell me girl,is it even worth it
is it worth losin respect fer yourself??...")
her face stained with tears,she scribbled;
cover me up
from head to toe
m naked n cold
doesnt it show?
spread your all encompassin wings
to block my raging tears
fly me to a land where m secure
peaceful comfort serenades my uneventful abode
if structured be i to feel n cringe
get hurt and run away
y did lord god create me at the first place
to hurt myself
to hurt others ..
scene3:
... their bodies enveloped in sweet baby sweat
their faces red and glowing
they stopped
planted themselves on a soft patch on the grass
and lay there
the girl put her head on his lap
n he pulled her up
caressing her..
.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
love
a myth?a fable?
or is it a game dat our senses play on us?
untangible
non tactile
like air
when they ask ,"r u in love?"
i dont know what to say
because no matter how many sonnets,poems,songs,comedies,tragedies,novels,epics were driven by this emotion,each one takin its own unique stance,trying 2 capture it,describe it ,share it....the fact remains,love,of all feelings is d most subjective and individualized emotion....which is real in our senses alone
n as easy it is fer d world 2 chalk out a clear definition fer feelings like trust,honesty,faith...love just cannot be defined!!
n yet everybody has a consensual understandin of d term when it is used invariably across movie dialogus,screenplays,stories and poetry..
strange
very strange
to me though
love is analogous to trust,understanding,adjustment,passion,care.....
n yet it sounds infinitely more romantic 2 say i m in love,instead of sayin i trust n understand him,not to mention i m compatible with him as well!!
so i just say ,i m in love
to hav the listener imply a hundred other meanings from it
sheesh!!
never thought id write on love,of all subjects on this planet....it is afterall d most stereotypical subject,overused and manipulated..
and yet...
i hate 2 slander d term by imparting meanings to it
i hate to see people serenade about it,makin it appear spotless,flawless and perfect,almost virgin like innocent
they say it doesnt leave u lonely
how can it not??
arent u bound 2 feel lonely ,more so when in love....when things are not tatally perfect....wen u r thrust into a space of uncertainty...catapulted into a realm of self doubt...
arrey yar
logon ko toh is tension ko palne me bhi maza ata hai
ajeeb hai bhai
chalo..jo bhi..
a myth?a fable?
or is it a game dat our senses play on us?
untangible
non tactile
like air
when they ask ,"r u in love?"
i dont know what to say
because no matter how many sonnets,poems,songs,comedies,tragedies,novels,epics were driven by this emotion,each one takin its own unique stance,trying 2 capture it,describe it ,share it....the fact remains,love,of all feelings is d most subjective and individualized emotion....which is real in our senses alone
n as easy it is fer d world 2 chalk out a clear definition fer feelings like trust,honesty,faith...love just cannot be defined!!
n yet everybody has a consensual understandin of d term when it is used invariably across movie dialogus,screenplays,stories and poetry..
strange
very strange
to me though
love is analogous to trust,understanding,adjustment,passion,care.....
n yet it sounds infinitely more romantic 2 say i m in love,instead of sayin i trust n understand him,not to mention i m compatible with him as well!!
so i just say ,i m in love
to hav the listener imply a hundred other meanings from it
sheesh!!
never thought id write on love,of all subjects on this planet....it is afterall d most stereotypical subject,overused and manipulated..
and yet...
i hate 2 slander d term by imparting meanings to it
i hate to see people serenade about it,makin it appear spotless,flawless and perfect,almost virgin like innocent
they say it doesnt leave u lonely
how can it not??
arent u bound 2 feel lonely ,more so when in love....when things are not tatally perfect....wen u r thrust into a space of uncertainty...catapulted into a realm of self doubt...
arrey yar
logon ko toh is tension ko palne me bhi maza ata hai
ajeeb hai bhai
chalo..jo bhi..
Friday, November 17, 2006
RED WHINE FROM BEHIND THE MIND
empty flute glasses
adorned the table
laid on the same were bottles of fine red wine
a white china vase bursting with voluptious thick red roses
roses that reminded one of the fullness of the bodies of healthy spanish women
white delicate plates flaunting patterns made with twenty four carat gold
placed right next to the vase was a basket of
grapes, bursting with sweet sugary juice
marinated lamb,glistening in the yellow light
foie gras and chocolate truffle
meat pies and caviare
a crystal jar of water played up the image of the chandelier hanging right above
till well mannered,well trained manicured hands started playing around
interrupting the sophisticated stillness of nature displayed in parts.
there were masculine hands;hairy,tawny and well tanned
and there were the feminine ones,mostly long fingered with many diamond rings
delicate and soft
they were engaged on the table
passing around the meat and wine
as if engaged in a greedy foreplay
veiled in aristocratic hospitality
in d next room:
u found
a glass table
with white powder divided into 18 strips
proceeded by a hurried rolling of joints
emergency like
none of the faces were too clear,they were floating
in smoke
empty bottles of beer lying on the floor
not to forget the underwears flung all over
each one of them was fuelled
pairs rocking on the floor
three of them were on the bed
an orgy happenin in the middle of d room
some just lay around,too happy gazing at the cieling and puffing out poison
both rooms enveloped in ecstasy
the first one wrapped it up in a look good bourgoise uprightness
the second in a blunt, thundering blatancy
so why exonerate the ones in the first room in yer conscience
their pretentions butcher all symptoms of humanness
which is to say they are practically beast seeming
like those in the 2nd room
from the eyes of a child
adorned the table
laid on the same were bottles of fine red wine
a white china vase bursting with voluptious thick red roses
roses that reminded one of the fullness of the bodies of healthy spanish women
white delicate plates flaunting patterns made with twenty four carat gold
placed right next to the vase was a basket of
grapes, bursting with sweet sugary juice
marinated lamb,glistening in the yellow light
foie gras and chocolate truffle
meat pies and caviare
a crystal jar of water played up the image of the chandelier hanging right above
till well mannered,well trained manicured hands started playing around
interrupting the sophisticated stillness of nature displayed in parts.
there were masculine hands;hairy,tawny and well tanned
and there were the feminine ones,mostly long fingered with many diamond rings
delicate and soft
they were engaged on the table
passing around the meat and wine
as if engaged in a greedy foreplay
veiled in aristocratic hospitality
in d next room:
u found
a glass table
with white powder divided into 18 strips
proceeded by a hurried rolling of joints
emergency like
none of the faces were too clear,they were floating
in smoke
empty bottles of beer lying on the floor
not to forget the underwears flung all over
each one of them was fuelled
pairs rocking on the floor
three of them were on the bed
an orgy happenin in the middle of d room
some just lay around,too happy gazing at the cieling and puffing out poison
both rooms enveloped in ecstasy
the first one wrapped it up in a look good bourgoise uprightness
the second in a blunt, thundering blatancy
so why exonerate the ones in the first room in yer conscience
their pretentions butcher all symptoms of humanness
which is to say they are practically beast seeming
like those in the 2nd room
from the eyes of a child
Monday, November 06, 2006
blogthings
I TOOK THESE TESTS ON D NET...SOME DELIRIOUSLY FUNNY, SOME ECCENTRIC..AND OTHERS ,WELL, BOTH ECCENTRIC N FUNNY!! HAD TO ANSWER A FEW QUESTIONS B4 BEING PRESENTED WITH A RESULT.
Q)WAT SUNSIGN SHOULD U BE
You Should Be A Gemini
What's good about you: witty and energetic, you're simply the most fun to be around..What's bad about you: you're flighty - losing interest in people and projects quickly..Your ideal job: mime, guru, or cartoonist..Your sense of fashion: casual and simple..You like to pig out on: fast food, especially burritos
Q)WAT PIE ARE YOU?
You Are Apple Pie
You're the perfect combo of comforting and traditional Those who like you crave security
Your Old Fashioned Name Is...
Millicent Pennebrygg
Q)WAT PIZZA ARE YOU?
Pepperoni Pizza
Robust and dominant.When you go for something, you go full force.You tend to take control of situations easily.And in return, you get a ton of respect.
Q)WHAT LOTTERY TICKET ARE YOU?
Full of hope and promise.But in the end, a cheap letdown.
Q)WHAT WERE YOU IN YOUR PAST LIFE?
You Were: An Obese Warrior...Where You Lived: North Canada...How You Died: Hung for treason.
Q)WHAT KIND OF AN ARTIST ARE YOU?
Pop artist.When it comes to art, you're definitely not a snob.You can appreciate the mainstream aspects of culture, even if you need to twist them a bit to make them your own.Whether you're into comics, retro pinups, or bold colors, you embrace what's eye catching and simple.
Q)HOW NORMAL ARE YOU?
You Are 50% Normal
While some of your behavior is quite normal...Other things you do are downright strange..You've got a little of your freak going on..But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself
Your Musical Tastes Match: Jennifer Garner
Your 1950s Name is:
Sally Janie
Q)YOUR IDEAL CAREERS
Your Ideal Careers:Astronaut
EntrepreneurLawyer
Nightclub owner
Photographer
Private investigator
Stand up comicVenture capitalist
Video game developer
Q)WHAT KIND OF A ROCKER ARE YOU?
You Are an Emo Rocker!
Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
You are 60% Aries
Exotic Dancer Name Is...
Sunset
Q)WHAT SODA TYPE ARE YOU?
You Are Dr. Pepper
You're very unique and funky, yet you still have a bit of traditionalism to you.People who like you think they have great taste... and they usually do.Your best soda match: Root Beer
Q)WHAT LIQUOR ARE YOU?
You Are Absinthe
You are a sloppy drunk, purposely drinking doesn't make you feel crazy, it's not any fun.Truth be told, you tend to prefer drugs to drinking,But you'd never pass up any absinthe that came your way!
Q)WHO IS YOUR DADDY?
Your Daddy Is Dennis Rodman
What You Call Him: Papi..Why You Love Him: He's your sugar daddy
Q)WHAT MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE ARE YOU?
You Are a Dragon
You are very charismatic and incredibly popular.People are drawn to your energy, but you are a very difficult person to get to know.You are very active - you are usually hard at work or play.You enjoy drama, and you enjoy anything unusual or eccentric.
Your Outrageous Name is:
Anita Beaver
THIS WAS SOOOO FUNN!! THERE WERE A ZILLION OTHER TESTS I HAD WANTED TO TAKE (where wud yer inner new yorker live,wat type of frappucino are you,your 1920's name,whats color shoud your eyes be...,to name a few)..but heck,one's gotta stop somewhere!!
Q)WAT SUNSIGN SHOULD U BE
You Should Be A Gemini
What's good about you: witty and energetic, you're simply the most fun to be around..What's bad about you: you're flighty - losing interest in people and projects quickly..Your ideal job: mime, guru, or cartoonist..Your sense of fashion: casual and simple..You like to pig out on: fast food, especially burritos
Q)WAT PIE ARE YOU?
You Are Apple Pie
You're the perfect combo of comforting and traditional Those who like you crave security
Your Old Fashioned Name Is...
Millicent Pennebrygg
Q)WAT PIZZA ARE YOU?
Pepperoni Pizza
Robust and dominant.When you go for something, you go full force.You tend to take control of situations easily.And in return, you get a ton of respect.
Q)WHAT LOTTERY TICKET ARE YOU?
Full of hope and promise.But in the end, a cheap letdown.
Q)WHAT WERE YOU IN YOUR PAST LIFE?
You Were: An Obese Warrior...Where You Lived: North Canada...How You Died: Hung for treason.
Q)WHAT KIND OF AN ARTIST ARE YOU?
Pop artist.When it comes to art, you're definitely not a snob.You can appreciate the mainstream aspects of culture, even if you need to twist them a bit to make them your own.Whether you're into comics, retro pinups, or bold colors, you embrace what's eye catching and simple.
Q)HOW NORMAL ARE YOU?
You Are 50% Normal
While some of your behavior is quite normal...Other things you do are downright strange..You've got a little of your freak going on..But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself
Your Musical Tastes Match: Jennifer Garner
Your 1950s Name is:
Sally Janie
Q)YOUR IDEAL CAREERS
Your Ideal Careers:Astronaut
EntrepreneurLawyer
Nightclub owner
Photographer
Private investigator
Stand up comicVenture capitalist
Video game developer
Q)WHAT KIND OF A ROCKER ARE YOU?
You Are an Emo Rocker!
Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
You are 60% Aries
Exotic Dancer Name Is...
Sunset
Q)WHAT SODA TYPE ARE YOU?
You Are Dr. Pepper
You're very unique and funky, yet you still have a bit of traditionalism to you.People who like you think they have great taste... and they usually do.Your best soda match: Root Beer
Q)WHAT LIQUOR ARE YOU?
You Are Absinthe
You are a sloppy drunk, purposely drinking doesn't make you feel crazy, it's not any fun.Truth be told, you tend to prefer drugs to drinking,But you'd never pass up any absinthe that came your way!
Q)WHO IS YOUR DADDY?
Your Daddy Is Dennis Rodman
What You Call Him: Papi..Why You Love Him: He's your sugar daddy
Q)WHAT MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE ARE YOU?
You Are a Dragon
You are very charismatic and incredibly popular.People are drawn to your energy, but you are a very difficult person to get to know.You are very active - you are usually hard at work or play.You enjoy drama, and you enjoy anything unusual or eccentric.
Your Outrageous Name is:
Anita Beaver
THIS WAS SOOOO FUNN!! THERE WERE A ZILLION OTHER TESTS I HAD WANTED TO TAKE (where wud yer inner new yorker live,wat type of frappucino are you,your 1920's name,whats color shoud your eyes be...,to name a few)..but heck,one's gotta stop somewhere!!
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